Just Jacquie

Do you remember that segment on Saturday Night Live called Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey? It was my favourite.

Here are two deep thoughts I love. You’re welcome.

“The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.”

“Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. NOW who’s asking the questions?”

Anyway, my mind doesn’t really shut off so I have a LOT of thoughts. Some are deep, and some are, well, not. I’ll share some of those with you.

1. Our tooth fairy gives $3 for the first tooth and then $1 for every tooth after. I’m suspecting our tooth fairy is a real cheapo compared to other tooth fairies. Hahah! What’s the going rate? Also, what the H do you do with all the teeth? I’m feeling like a creepy collector. (Show picture) I had this box hidden on our top shelf in one of our cabinets. Evie was snooping and somehow found the box of teeth. Busted!!! I had to quickly tell her why I had them. My reason was that I asked the tooth fairy to give them to me so I could show the kids their tiny teeth when they get older. The bad news is, I never separated them. The kids’ teeth are all mixed together. #toothcocktail

Also, do any of you feel like a fraud when you tell your kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Leprechauns? I’m going through a little something right now with feeling that way. However, I don’t want to be “that mom” who shares the truth to her kids too early. My childhood was magical and I want that for my kids. I’ve noticed a pattern that most kids have loose lips. I worry that my kids might share their enlightenment with their younger siblings or other kids who aren’t ready to know.

2. You know what I’m grateful for? The IKEA As Is section. You know how some of the items in that section are a little broken, tarnished or have missing pieces? Even so, someone still sees the value in those items. That’s like all of us! I needed that reminder. We are a little broken but still of value. We are all loved a LOT! I have felt like Humpty Dumpty, but I am being put back together again.

I know the phrase “I Am Enough” is used often, but it is empowering. I have done daily affirmations and this is one I make sure I say. There is power in what we say. There is definite power in what we say to ourselves. So friends, you ARE enough, as is. Say it out loud! Shout it if you need! (Reminds me of Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed when she yells, “I’m not Josie Grossie anymore!!!!”)

3. When something stinks, why do I take double, triple and even quadruple sniffs only to confirm that it stinks.

4. I feel like my maturity level is stuck at the jr high level. When someone asks me where something is, I have the strongest urge to say, “Up your butt and around the corner”. Or when someone says excuse me for any reason, I REALLY want to respond with, “It’s okay. I didn’t smell anything.”

Have I ever mentioned that I’m 37 years old?

5. In an attempt to make small changes to live a healthier life, I chose to use natural deodorant. My very young daughter needed to wear deodorant and I didn’t want to wear drugstore brands. It got me thinking. If I wouldn’t let her put these things on her body, then why would I allow them on my body?

Things I’ve discovered:

•My armpits react to baking soda. It took a while to discover that. I would get red, raised rashes that were bordering on painful.
•Some of these baking soda-free deodorants I tried would work for an hour and then I’d smell like I played in an onion patch.
•I also discovered I sometimes have skunky smelling armpits. Apparently that’s due to stress sweat. Who knew our bodies emanated different odors?
•After 8 months of trying to figure out what works best for me (most people would’ve given up and gone back to antiperspirants by now but not stubborn Jacquie), I discovered the Routine brand works the best. It’s so good and you can get it online, or at The Purple Carrot in Lethbridge. You can get it with or without baking soda.

That’s it for today! Stay tuned for more Deep Thoughts.

Do you remember the show Kids Say the Darndest Things hosted by Bill Cosby, when we still all loved him? It was my favourite show to watch. Well, I’m pretty lucky to have some pretty funny kids in my life. Here are some of my share-worthy stories. For some reason, all these stories are about body parts. Hahah!

1. Volunteering in Bennett’s preschool class last year made me miss being surrounded by students. I was always so entertained by the stuff kids would say. That day was no different. 😂😂😂

Teacher (reviewing carpet time rules): What’s our rule about hands?
Student: You can’t put your hands in your pants and touch your wiener.

The student was absolutely right, though.

2. Recently at church, I was singing with the nursery kids (aged 18 months-3years). We were singing, “I can tap my toes, I can tap my toes, I can tap my toes”. 🎶🎵

The kids had maracas and would tap whatever we sang about.

Me:
Who knows what else should we tap?

Lachlan, my 3 year old: (With both maracas on his chest 🎯🎯)
NIPPLES!!!!
😂😂🙈😳Hahahahahahahah!!!

Bonus story that also happened at church the same day. Lachlan kept poking, feeling and pushing on my chest at church. I asked him to stop and he said, “But I like to do it”.

This is why we sit at the back. This is why. Hahaha!

3. When I taught grade one, I was teaching a unit in social studies on rights and responsibilities. I asked the kids for examples of each. One student said, “When my mom and dad shower together I’m responsible for watching my little sister. ”

To close this segment of Kids Say the Darndest Things, I’ll mention another experience I had in grade one.

4. Now, I love leopard print. I’ve loved it since I was in high school and you could only purchase leopard print items in the sketchy store San Francisco. (Please tell me some of you remember that store! The further towards the back, the sketchier the store.)

Anyway, I was wearing a pair of leopard print shoes to school. As I was holding the door open for all grade one kids to come in from recess, one student said to me, “I like your shoes. My mom has panties just like them.”

Hahahahaha! Out of the mouth of babes!

For a while, one of my favourite songs was Issues by Julia Michaels. (I said it WAS a favourite for a while, because I tend to be intense with music and listen to my favourites non-stop. Then they stop being my favourite. Sometimes I’m a go big or go home kind of gal. 😬 Oh, and if you now have a hankering to listen to this, just know there is one cuss word.)

One part in the song goes like this:
‘Cause I got issues
But you got ’em too
So give ’em all to me
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
‘Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve ’em

I’m not going to delve into her meaning of the lyrics, but bottom line is we all have issues. And it takes love to solve them. Let’s discuss some of my issues, shall we?

Before I dig in, I must mention this. My new timeline of reference has turned into “before my mom died” and “after my mom died”. So, this past year and 9 months since my mom died have been that of accelerated healing and growth for me. Let’s call it Jacquie’s Journey 2.0. (My Jacquie’s Journey OG will be shared at some point.)

I have God and good people in my life. I’m blessed. In a way, I have given my issues to them. They have had a hand in my healing. They have all helped me more than I can even attempt to explain. Love is the higher law, I’ve genuinely discovered. Love is the answer.

One day, I was hit so hard with this truth from Matthew 22 verse 39 found in the New Testament. “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (If you want the full scripture, you can find it here, starting at verse 36.) AS THYSELF!!!!! It hit me harder than hard. I realized I have have only focused on the first part of this scripture all along. I’m quite good at loving my neighbour. It’s easy for me to love other people. But the last part? I’ve never really given it attention as I only focused on the neighbour part. I have liked myself for the most part and I wouldn’t go as far to say that I hated myself. However, I realized that there was a deficit in my self love. And just like that, BOOM! This scripture was the answer to the root of all my issues.

As mentioned, I’ve always found it easy to love people. For deep rooted reasons, I’ve always imagined that it’s pretty hard for other people to love the real me. The flawed me. Insecurity, self doubt and all the things in between have been holding me back. In hindsight, I can see it all now. And it makes me so so sad. I never felt like I was enough. I would seek for others to fill me up with love. I was a validation-seeker. It’s like I needed it from other people because I couldn’t give it to myself. The downside to that is that what they gave me was never enough.

I’m happy to say that I’m well on my road to self-love recovery. I feel a tangible difference in how I view myself. It didn’t happen overnight. It’s been over a year of consistent work. Between God, my loved ones and some amazing professionals (counsellors, a naturopath, massage therapist and an EFT practitioner to just name a few), I have been able to work on a LOT of things. I’ve been called out on things. I’ve been challenged. I’ve had to reopen wounds to properly clean them so that they can properly heal. I’ve also been encouraged. I’ve been validated (not in an enabling way). I’ve dug deep and dealt with issues I didn’t know were even issues. Some of it hasn’t been easy. Some of it has been easier than I anticipated. Because of all of this, I realize that I am enough. I AM ENOUGH! And yes, I just yelled that. I realized I had it in me all along, but I needed help to see it.

Sometimes I try to default back to my old way of thinking. I now have the tools to question my thoughts. I don’t have to buy into that negative narrative any longer. My issues don’t define me any longer. Love defines me. The love my Heavenly Father and my Savior have for me defines me. It’s an unconditional love. The love I have for myself defines me. The love of others certainly adds an invaluable amount of meaning to my life, but it doesn’t define me. My own value isn’t dependent on what others think of me. This new awareness has been absolutely life changing. It’s been freeing.

Love is the answer. ❤️

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C. S. Lewis

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I love a good quote. And this quote illustrates that I’m not too old to embrace my new goals and dreams! Keep reading to find out why I started this blog! Especially since I NEVER thought I’d have a blog. Like ever.

Shrek : For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.

Donkey : Example?

Shrek : Example… uh… ogres are like onions!

[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]

Donkey : They stink?

Shrek : Yes… No!

Donkey : Oh, they make you cry?

Shrek : No!

Donkey : Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…

Shrek : [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers… You get it? We both have layers.

[walks off]

Shrek, 2001

I’m not saying I’m like an ogre, but I can relate to the onion layers. (Actually, I can also relate to the stinking part. Like when I decided to try natural deodorant and some kinds did not work, leaving me to smell oniony or skunky. That’s for another blog post. Also, I can relate to sproutin’ little white hairs. Momma has clusters of those things growing along my hairline!)

I never ever thought I’d blog. It’s just never been an interest of mine. And I never thought anyone would want to read what I’d write. Here I am, though, blogging. I felt very strongly that I needed to do this. The story of why I started this puppy is for another blog post.

I LOVE to share. When I find something humorous, or have learned something or catch wind of something useful, I want to tell the world! My Facebook is full of my sharing. Just call me Sharing, Lois & Bram! (Please tell me you know of this amazing musical trio I grew up with! If not, you wouldn’t have found that funny in the least. Skinnamarinky dinky dink, skinnamarinky doo, I love youuuu!)

(Something you need to know about me is that I LOVE poorly photoshopped photos. It brings me such joy! 😂😂😂)

I need to get back to the layers thing. This blog has layers. It doesn’t fit one mold. It’s a personal sharing blog without restraints. I’ll share the funny, the raw, the vulnerable, the helpful, plus anything else this old gal needs to share.

As for the name? I wanted a blog name to not limit me, to not pigeon hole me into one category. For example, if I had Jacquie Of All Trades (I love a good play on words) as my blog name, readers might think it’s a DIY blog. Or if I named it I Am I Said, referencing Neil Diamond’s gem of a song, people might think I was a Dr Seuss fanatic. Truth be told, I am a big Neil Diamond and Dr Seuss fan. This name business has been an important/stressful factor to my sharing journey.

So, I used to love watching Will and Grace. Jack and Karen were my favourite characters. Jack would often throw his jazz hands up by his face and say, “Just Jack!”. That, along with my desire to be my authentic self, is how Just Jacquie was born. (Jazz hands) JUST JACQUIE!!!

I’ve learned a lot about anger, grief, fear, love, forgiveness, healing, hope and many other things in between. Thanks to my pal Brené Brown, I’ve also learned more about gratitude and vulnerability and to be brave. So here I am, showing up. I hope that some of the things I say can resonate with you. That you can feel support from me. That you feel you’re not alone. And maybe? Maybe you’ll even feel inspired.