Deep and Not-So-Deep Thoughts

Do you remember that segment on Saturday Night Live called Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey? It was my favourite.

Here are two deep thoughts I love. You’re welcome.

“The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.”

“Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. NOW who’s asking the questions?”

Anyway, my mind doesn’t really shut off so I have a LOT of thoughts. Some are deep, and some are, well, not. I’ll share some of those with you.

1. Our tooth fairy gives $3 for the first tooth and then $1 for every tooth after. I’m suspecting our tooth fairy is a real cheapo compared to other tooth fairies. Hahah! What’s the going rate? Also, what the H do you do with all the teeth? I’m feeling like a creepy collector. (Show picture) I had this box hidden on our top shelf in one of our cabinets. Evie was snooping and somehow found the box of teeth. Busted!!! I had to quickly tell her why I had them. My reason was that I asked the tooth fairy to give them to me so I could show the kids their tiny teeth when they get older. The bad news is, I never separated them. The kids’ teeth are all mixed together. #toothcocktail

Also, do any of you feel like a fraud when you tell your kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Leprechauns? I’m going through a little something right now with feeling that way. However, I don’t want to be “that mom” who shares the truth to her kids too early. My childhood was magical and I want that for my kids. I’ve noticed a pattern that most kids have loose lips. I worry that my kids might share their enlightenment with their younger siblings or other kids who aren’t ready to know.

2. You know what I’m grateful for? The IKEA As Is section. You know how some of the items in that section are a little broken, tarnished or have missing pieces? Even so, someone still sees the value in those items. That’s like all of us! I needed that reminder. We are a little broken but still of value. We are all loved a LOT! I have felt like Humpty Dumpty, but I am being put back together again.

I know the phrase “I Am Enough” is used often, but it is empowering. I have done daily affirmations and this is one I make sure I say. There is power in what we say. There is definite power in what we say to ourselves. So friends, you ARE enough, as is. Say it out loud! Shout it if you need! (Reminds me of Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed when she yells, “I’m not Josie Grossie anymore!!!!”)

3. When something stinks, why do I take double, triple and even quadruple sniffs only to confirm that it stinks.

4. I feel like my maturity level is stuck at the jr high level. When someone asks me where something is, I have the strongest urge to say, “Up your butt and around the corner”. Or when someone says excuse me for any reason, I REALLY want to respond with, “It’s okay. I didn’t smell anything.”

Have I ever mentioned that I’m 37 years old?

5. In an attempt to make small changes to live a healthier life, I chose to use natural deodorant. My very young daughter needed to wear deodorant and I didn’t want to wear drugstore brands. It got me thinking. If I wouldn’t let her put these things on her body, then why would I allow them on my body?

Things I’ve discovered:

•My armpits react to baking soda. It took a while to discover that. I would get red, raised rashes that were bordering on painful.
•Some of these baking soda-free deodorants I tried would work for an hour and then I’d smell like I played in an onion patch.
•I also discovered I sometimes have skunky smelling armpits. Apparently that’s due to stress sweat. Who knew our bodies emanated different odors?
•After 8 months of trying to figure out what works best for me (most people would’ve given up and gone back to antiperspirants by now but not stubborn Jacquie), I discovered the Routine brand works the best. It’s so good and you can get it online, or at The Purple Carrot in Lethbridge. You can get it with or without baking soda.

That’s it for today! Stay tuned for more Deep Thoughts.